Fear Cannot Be In Control

For the last week or so I haven’t been feeling well. My POTS has still been acting up and my sinus issues have not resolved. Things were only getting worse. I knew my only relief would be going to the hospital for IV saline. I just kept putting it off every day, allowing myself to get sicker and sicker. The more I put it off, the more I was hurting myself. My excuse was that I just had too much to do and going to the ER takes too much time, which is partly true because we were in the midst of midterms. I realized one of the real reasons was fear. I didn’t want to go back to the ER, the place where just a month and a half ago began my serious sepsis crisis. I was fearful thinking about and reliving those moments.

Luckily I realized I cannot let that fear control me and went to the ER. Something as simple as 2 liters of IV saline has me feeling so much better today. Ultimately, I’ve learned my lesson. I cannot let the fear of something control me or my decisions, especially if that decision affects my functioning and quality of life. I cannot put myself in harms way for fear. It’s just not worth it.

Just as a reminder, I am still raising money for my South Africa internship. Skip your Starbucks or your cocktail for a day and donate! $10 can go a long way!! http://www.gofundme.com/2koetk

~Natasha

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