It’s been nine weeks of low grade fevers. Every day I have had a fever to some degree, usually peaking at multiple times a day. A fever takes its toll on a normal body, so imagine what is does to mine! It’s crazy. I have been having a very hard time keeping up with school work and all my (group) projects. I have responsibilities to meet and unfortunately, I have had to accept additional responsibilities in order to make sure that I succeed in my program. It is difficult to write papers, go to class, do research and maintain a social life, when I have endless doctors appointments, procedures and just feel miserably sick.
My doctors were working feverishly(pun intended lol) to determine the cause of the fevers and ensure that I do not have an infection. I have had lots of diagnostic tests and blood work done, with all the results returning normal. Last week, I had a transesophageal echo performed on me, where I was sedated and the doctors placed a doppler machine down my throat to check my heart for infection. This too was normal and there was no infection found. In the meantime, I still have no port and utilize the emergency room once a week for fluids to try to keep my POTS symptoms at bay.
Recently, my doctors have consulted with each other and determined that I do not have an acute infection. This means that I will be able to have my port placement surgery next Thursday to resume hydration therapy. Of course, next Thursday is right in the midst of week 10 of graduate school and finals. It never fails. Every week 10 and finals week so far in my graduate school career, I have something major happen health wise. Last year, fall quarter I had port surgery a few days before a final, winter quarter I got sepsis during week 10, spring quarter I had port surgery less than 24 hours before my 211B(a MAJOR course in my program) final exam. It never fails.
My doctors are not pursuing other testing methods at the moment to determine the root cause of the fevers. They believe that the fevers are another symptom(temperature control issues) of dysautonomia that I have developed. Of course, there is no real treatment for that either that I haven’t already tried, so I will just have to live with it. I was devastated by this news. I wanted to give up and submit to the fact that this is my life. I wanted to submit to the fact that I now have this limited functioning and decreased quality of life. If I can have another dysautonomia symptom, who is to say I will not develop more? I have to now figure out and readjust to this new setback. Although there seems to be no end in sight, I cannot give up. I refuse to give up, it is just not inside me. After a few days of reflection, I have decided to pursue other options for evaluation and treatment. I genuinely believe that all of the health problems that I have experienced in the last few years are all related. I want to pursue other options for diagnosis and treatment before more problems occur. I refuse to believe that this is forever. I have hope that it will lead to better outcomes and a better quality of life.