Today marks the one year anniversary of My Hidden Truths.  I created this site to educate people about dysautonomia, allow others to understand some of the things that I deal with and to serve as a resource for others with similar problems.  Although those were my intentions, I have realized that this blog has also served as a creative outlet to voice my thoughts, frustrations and opinions.  There have been a lot of ups and downs on this long journey in the past year, which has not been easy but the support that I have received has been overwhelming.  Thank you to my friends and family.  Thank you to those who put up with listening to my problems and struggles on a daily basis(I know I am probably annoying now lol).  Thank you to all of the people in 30 different countries who have contributed to the almost 4,000 views on my blog.  Your reading of my blog and understanding of dysautonomia, POTS, and the other health conditions that I write about, that brings awareness to the issues.  I could not have made it through the last year with out your support.  All of you.

I recently read somewhere to never be afraid to fall apart because it is just an opportunity to rebuild yourself the way you wish you had been all along.  I feel like that describes where I am at now.  Day after day, it seemed like I had(and still have) a new health problem, symptom or issue.  I was shuffled from doctor to doctor, fishing for answers and coming up empty handed.  I had essentially run out of options for testing to pursue to figure out why I have had fevers on a daily basis for approximately six months.  There are still no answers as to why I have consistently moderate pain in both legs and numbness in my fingers.  On top of that, the meds that have been my savior for the last two years were not working consistently and started to make me feel worse than I was already feeling.  I felt like I had lost control of my own health.  I had to regain control and make some decisions.

Where I stand right now is that I am in the process of deciding whether or not I want to have a PET scan done to determine if I have any malignancies or hidden infections causing my fevers.  I have an appointment with a new neurologist in a month, which I am not too optimistic about for various reasons.  I have made the decision to stop taking my meds because I would rather learn to deal with the consequences of not being on my meds than not being able to cope with them working inconsistently.  I have started a daily exercise regimen(I know I was so adamantly against this before, so  I will save the details about this for another post).  I have gradually been working on a new diet which includes a daily “green” and fruit smoothie/juice”.  Slowly but surely, I am on the road to rebuilding.  I am rebuilding my life to adjust for these obstacles that I have been facing.  This road is not easy and I have already encountered some obstacles and setbacks(which includes the flu that I currently have) but I will not let them stop me.  My happiness comes first and I have more strength than I even realize.  I have this last year of strength behind me.  I hope that everyone will continue to ride along on the next year of my journey.

~Natasha