I did not have the left stellate ganglion nerve block yesterday as planned. I have been having throat swelling, hoarseness and pretty much no voice since the first block and because of that, they could not do the second block as scheduled. Furthermore, I have been feeling extra crappy since the first block with my POTS being very symptomatic. I can no longer take my meds because they have been causing side effects since the block. This has left me minimally functional, struggling to keep up with school and again doubting my trips.

My doctors wanted me to push back my trips(Philly, DC, and South Africa) so that I can get the second block but there is no guarantee that will work and changing travel plans will cost me a great deal of money. They have no other plan or suggestion for treatment. If you know me, you know I don’t give up that easily and I get what I want no matter how hard I have to work for it. I refuse to cancel or push back my trips.

As traumatized as I was and how bad it was having sepsis, I even suggested to my doctors that I have another port placed for the summer so I can resume with hydration therapy. They are reluctant due to the risks of traveling with a port and medical supplies and due to my risk for infection, or sepsis again. Just like with the procedures, people I have told about this idea strongly disagree but I need to do what’s best for me. I will be miserable being unfunctional and stuck in my LA bed all summer. I believe everything happens for a reason. I fought so hard to get approval for my internship in South Africa, got approval and received funding. I believe all that happened so I could go, not so I could be stuck in LA all summer.

I may have finally convinced my doctors to place a new port, being aware of my risk for infection. They are suppose to let me know but they are running out of time as I am suppose to leave LA on Wednesday. I will also be visiting the doctor tomorrow to get my throat checked again to see if there was permanent damage to my vocal cords and if my voice will fully return. We will see what happens.

I have been really struggle the last few days, trying to make decisions and coming to terms with my reality. Even through that I try to keep these words in the back of my mind: I have good days and bad days but at the end of the day be thankful that I am able to see another day.

~Natasha